Surviving 12th Week

Welcome to week 12. It started out very exciting.

Sunday morning, I woke up bleeding. Thin pink blood, nothing terrifying like my period or anything. Ruined a sheet but nothing "CSI." Filled 1/2 a pantyliner. Went potty to do a check for anything truly scary and changed into a pad. Called Dr. Leong's answering service and she called me very quickly! Nice. By then, it had stopped. She said to watch it and if anything got darker or thinker or whatever to head to ER. She also said she'd set me up for a Tuesday appt.

I spent the morning in bed. Resting, FaceBooking, napping. After church, Lewis picked up the goods for the superbowl party and he and Lawrence returned home. Things were looking good for me. So I sat in the kitchen and prepared the nacho dip. The goal was to sit and not stand or do much. Just me in the chair throwin' nacho fixin's in the crock pot. Still lookin' good, we got dressed and headed to our friend's Super Bowl party.

End of the night, I went to the bathroom and it was a lot different. Dark, thick, slick product. Not soaking the pad because it was old blood but plenty coating the pad. I didn't really freak out but I was disappointed. I told Lew that I wanted to drop Lo off at gma's and go to the hospital after the game was over. Lew called his mom to give her a heads up. We packed up our stuff said our goodbyes and got out of there.

After dropping off our sweet boy, we headed to UCMC ER. The folks were super nice. The triage nurse and I agreed that the baby was probably fine and that this was some implantation blood and dark blood likely signified the end to the bleeding and not something worse. She mentioned that is was encouraging that this had happened with Lawrence too. I sent a few texts to get some prayers going and watched CSI until they called me.

We got a private room. The order for the night was urine sample, a finger stick, pelvic exam and ultrasound. The doctors and the nurse were sooo cool. The first doctor had to go because he had to meet an incoming helicopter. The next doctor was pretty funny and very compassionate. He explained before he did anything that this is a situation where I did nothing wrong and that I could do nothing about this. Every woman in my situation needs so very much to hear this. He was kind. When we got to the ultrasound, it was obvious that he understood what parents want. He printed us a copy of the ultrasound even though he wasn't supposed to. He wished us well and then explained that he had to say that there was still a 50/50 chance. He explained what might happen if this "threatened miscarriage (or abortion)" actually completed. He said that if any of that happened, we should return to ER. He also told me to see my OB in a day. I found out my blood type because they wanted to rule out any Rh issues. I was a + so no shots for me.

When we got back to the car, I sent texts to my prayers and Lew and I went to get the Lo and headed home for night, night. It was 4am when we went to bed.

I woke up at 12ish today, talked to some of my peeps and had a good lunch with my husband. Today was a good day. No drama, no blood, no pain; just a headache and lots of hunger. We watched The Secret Life of Bees and I cried. I'm thankful because I didn't panic. I'm thankful that I still have a little baby inside me. I'm thankful that we are rejoicing instead of mourning. I am thankful for new mercies every morning, night and noon. I am thankful for love that transcends adversity and I thank God that I see progress. I thank God that I'm a little stronger than I was before and that I face this with open eyes and open heart. Nothing is impossible with God. God is with me no matter what happens. I remain hopeful!

I'm so thankful for this day and for the beauty of miracles. God is good.

I look forward to my Ob appointment on Tuesday.